Remembering Katie...

Tomorrow is Katie McCarron's birthday. This loving and cherished girl would have been 5 years old. My own words simply wouldn't be adequate to celebrate Katie's life, so I shall honor her with the words of her loving Father and Grandfather. Each time I write an entry on this blog, I think of Katie. Every time someone asks me why I blog and why I am so passionate about these issues, I think of my own sweet daughter and also of Katie. So many of us have been eternally affected by this adorable little girl, taken from this world far too early.



From Katie's Grandfather, Mike McCarron on AutismVox:

I would like to say something about Katie. Some newspapers have reported that this was done to end Katie’s pain; let me assure you that “Katie was not in pain”. She was a beautiful, precious and happy little girl. Each day she was showered with love and returned that love with hugs, kisses and laughter. Katie loved music; she would fill in some of the words in children’s songs as my wife would sing along with the CD that would be playing, their own version of “karaoke” . She liked to dance, she loved to do the “hooky poky”. She loved being in among flowers and tall grass. She would say “I like grass”. She enjoyed the zoo and because of all of the drills and flashcards she could identify the animals. Which I thought was pretty amazing for such a young child. She was also the only little child in her non-autistic play group that could identify an octagon. My wife and son had a party for her the day they heard that from the teacher.

She enjoyed having her grandmother dress her in new little outfits and dresses, and I think this is important. We have four grand-daughters, my wife loves to buy them frilly little dresses. When my wife went into a store she would never ask for three normal dresses and one autistic dress. I think we need to be very sensitive to the special needs of these children but at the same time not be oblivious to the numerous typical traits that are also developing. Katie was first and foremost a little girl, she enjoyed people making a big fuss over how pretty she looked. My wife would take her to the beauty shop to have her hair trimmed. Katie enjoyed going to the mall and looking in all of the stores and windows. These are female things.

She went to special schools everyday, the staff at those schools cherished her. I can not say enough for the staff at Mariposa. They were so very much more than professional therapists, they adopted her and loved her deeply. Katie was so lucky to be with them everyday.

There is also another young lady in North Carolina who worked with Katie during non-school hours. The bond that she had with Katie was unbelievably deep. I am amazed that a single Mom working to raise a son by herself could find so much extra love. Maybe love is one of those special resources, the more you give the more is given back.

Katie loved the park, the swings, the slides and being outside. She played with her dolls and toys; she loved “teletubbies” and brought joy to all of those that had actual contact with her. Yes, she was autistic. Developmentally she was behind other children. But her small victories would create unbelievable joy for those who loved her. I can not describe the ecstasy of having her little arms around my neck or of watching her and my son roll around on the floor playing in shear happiness.

Each day I ask the Lord if I could take her place, and perhaps He could return Katie to the loving arms of my son and my wife. So far that prayer has not been granted. But in the meantime I can assure you that no one will describe her murder as “understandable” or devalue her in anyway without my personal challenge to them and the organizations they represent.

I must apologize for the length of this post, please know that I keep each of you in my prayers.

Katie's father, Paul McCarron made this public statement earlier this year:

"If the measure of a person's life could be quantified by the number of people that loved them, then Katie, in her brief 3½ years, achieved well beyond all of us," Paul McCarron said...

"I ask all parents, and especially those of children with disabilities, to always love your children and be proud of them," Paul McCarron wrote in his statement. "Cherish every moment you have with them. Love, patience and tender efforts are the best therapies."

Kev has also written ever so eloquently here, "Dear Katie."

We remember, with a smile and prayer, beautiful Katie.

Karen McCarron Sentenced

Karen McCarron was sentenced to 36 years (prosecution had asked for 50 years) today in Illinois for the murder of her daughter, Katie. She will be 75 years old when she gets out of prison, and would then face a fine of $25,000 plus probation. From WMBD/WYZZ TV News Staff article:

State prosecutors remind the public of another number. The number 3. That's how old Katie was when she died.

Kevin Johnson, State Prosecutor says, "Their daughter, niece, grandchild, were murdered, don't know if they're ever going to be able to let that go.

I am glad that sentencing has finally occurred, and thankful Katie and her family have received some justice.



My thoughts are with Katie's family.

Why Does It Bother Me?

What's the big fuss if you are working to "eliminate" Autism? What's wrong if you say you're committed to eradicating it, for future generations? Why is it hurtful (and disturbing) when you promise to "prevent and cure anything along the Autism spectrum"? How come the terms "war on Autism," "Cure Autism Now," "Defeat Autism Now!" and others are downright frightening to people like me? Why does seeing celebrities peddling diets, supplements, and other "cures" for autism disturb me? Is it anything other than brave, for a mom to openly admit she's contemplated taking her autistic child's life? Is it really wrong to routinely preach that autism devastates families, destroys marriages, and puts most into severe debt?

What, really, is the harm in any of this?

From the Peoria Star Journal:

Numerous witnesses said Karen McCarron, a former pathologist, couldn't accept Katie's autism and was obsessed with finding a cure.

When a cure couldn't be found and suggestions of institutionalizing the girl and giving her up for adoption were rejected by family members, she chose to kill her.

Katie was sent to a special school for children with autism in North Carolina, where she lived with her father for nearly two years. Karen McCarron pursued various types of therapies and hired caregivers to work with her daughter as the obsession with curing the autism grew.

We all know what happened next. Sadly, Katie's story makes my point all too well. The current view society has of autistics is that they really don't count. Millions of dollars are spent each year by researchers working to find a cure and by parents willing to try anything to "rid" their child of autism. So, what else is society to think? Their views of autism are coming from typically one source, those views are very negative. The public must wonder how anyone, any family, could ever live with autism.

As much as we prefer to not think about it, murders (and attempts) like this happened before and continue to happen. This is something that cannot be ignored, will not be ignored. The organizations, politicians, and anyone else who fills the airwaves with hateful and hurtful depictions of autism will no longer go unchecked. Our voices are larger and louder than ever before.

So, the next time someone asks you about curing autism or about Autism Speaks or about the article they read in the paper--perhaps tell them about Katie. Tell them the beautiful words Katie's grandfather has shared with us. Tell them about your own child, or any of our children. Tell them how our kids are just that, kids. Yes, they are autistic, they are beautiful, they are human, they are here with us, and they are so full of life. Let them know why promoting the idea that autism is dreadful, and that autistics are not really human, let them know how very hurtful and dangerous that is.

Dedicated to Katie McCarron

Please click here to read those dear words from Katie's Grandfather, Mike McCarron. Thank you.

This entry is for Katie, and her family. My heart goes out to the McCarron family, and you are in my prayers. To her father, grandfather, and grandmother--there are simply no words to express the sorrow my heart carries for you. The pictures and words you have shared of Katie, she reminds me so much of my own daughter. I imagine they'd enjoyed one another's company. I am grateful for the loving words you have shared with the world. You, in your darkest hour, have step forth not only to stand up for your dear Katie, but also to speak up for all our children. I am forever thankful.

Peace be with you.


Warm Summer Sun
Warm summer sun, shine kindly here;
Warm southern wind, blow softly here;
Green sod above, lie light, lie light;
Good night, dear heart, good night, good night.
- Mark Twain



More written for Katie:
Dear Katie
http://www.kevinleitch.co.uk/wp/?p=380
http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=113


This will be my last entry until a verdict comes in...

Update: Guilty on all charges, read more.

From the Peoria Journal Star:

"If the measure of a person's life could be quantified by the number of people that loved them, then Katie, in her brief 3½ years, achieved well beyond all of us," Paul McCarron said in a prepared statement about his daughter after the trial.

Kevin Johnson, chief assistant Tazewell County state's attorney, said he told Paul McCarron and family the trial would be a long and difficult process.

"Today we reached the end of that journey with a justified verdict," Johnson said.

Paul McCarron stood next to prosecutors after the trial and thanked them and police for their work.

"We are blessed to have these caring and professional people in our community," he wrote.

The sentencing range for first-degree murder is between 20 and 60 years, but because Katie was younger than 12 years old, that sentencing range increases to between 60 and 100 years.

A sentencing date was not set Thursday but is expected to be scheduled today.

"I ask all parents, and especially those of children with disabilities, to always love your children and be proud of them," Paul McCarron wrote in his statement. "Cherish every moment you have with them. Love, patience and tender efforts are the best therapies."

(bold & enlarged text added by S.L.)

Thank you Katie's father, Paul McCarron for those beautiful words. It is my greatest hope that every parent and family who learns about Katie will take your message to heart, and live it each and everyday.

Shame On The Media (again)

A verdict is due any moment in the trial of Karen McCarron, the mother who viciously suffocated her 3 year old daughter to death. Her daughter, Katie McCarron was a beautiful, precious, and happy little girl, she was also autistic. The media coverage has been sparse, and this story has gotten very little national attention. Thus far, every article or story I have read or seen leaves out a very crucial image--a picture of Katie. Most have no pictures, others show only Karen McCarron.

I have found, also, that most stories use lines and words like "...little girl was asphyxiated..." and "smothered," all take away from the fact that a mother murdered her child--held a plastic bag over her face for at least two minutes. The stories also include lines like this, telling us how much Karen McCarron suffered and how she "longed for a life without autism..." Where is all the outrage in the media? What advocacy groups are standing up for Katie?

The overall theme is that autism was to blame for a mother killing her own child. Karen has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. This woman was so insane, or so her attorney claims, that she drove her child to her parents' house, where she knew no one was home. She killed her, then drove Katie's lifeless body home. She carried her upstairs, passing by others in the home, pretending that Katie was sleeping. She then ran errands, and later went to "check in" on Katie. She then put on a convincing act that Katie was suddenly not breathing and began CPR. It was not until hours later when, I suppose, she felt some pangs of guilt and apparently tried to kill herself, that the truth came out.

That is not insanity. An insane person would not be capable of such a cover-up. We wish, as a society, that this person, this mother, who committed such a horrifying act was indeed insane. We hope that a person was unaware of what they were doing, and incapable of realizing how wrong it was. That is the only way we as humans can make sense of such a tragedy. A mother can't be so full of evil and selfishness as to take her child's life, right? Wrong. This woman is not insane. She knew what she was doing.

Autism is not to blame, autism did not kill this child. Katie's grandfather has described her in the most beautiful of ways, please, you must read this.

This murder again leads back to groups like Autism Speaks and most other supposed autism charities. These groups support the idea that autism and being a parent to an autistic child is sheer terror. They promote falsehoods such as autistics are lost, missing their souls, etc. They celebrate mothers who admit contemplated killing their own child, and lift her up as their heroic poster-mom. They further the idea that autistics are not due the same human and civil rights as the rest of us.

I pray this jury does not buy into her plea, or buy into the fact that autism is the true villain here. I pray there will be justice for Katie. I pray it will bring even just a little bit of peace to her father and grandparents.

Kristina Chew, PHD., on her AutismVox blog has been giving trial updates daily.

Still think that "cure" groups like TACA, DAN!, etc. are entirely innocent here? READ THIS!

I have to add, I am very upset and distraught over this story. I have been blunt here, but I feel it is necessary. My family, my friends, had never heard of Katie McCarron. The world should know her story. Katie's murder occurred several months after we first began to suspect my daughter was autistic. Hearing of her murder was actually the first time I had heard of an autistic child being murdered. It was startling to me. Katie's story stuck with me, her picture engraved in my mind forever. It was a stepping stone that led to this blog, and to me being fired up about advocacy and acceptance. Katie was murdered within a day of my child's birthday. When I see the pictures of Katie and hear stories about her from her loving grandfather, all I can think of is my own daughter. They seemed to be a lot alike. I can't imagine a day without my precious child, she is so amazing and I am blessed to be her mother. It is incomprehensible to me how a mother could feel any different. This truly breaks my heart.