Remembering Katie...

Tomorrow is Katie McCarron's birthday. This loving and cherished girl would have been 5 years old. My own words simply wouldn't be adequate to celebrate Katie's life, so I shall honor her with the words of her loving Father and Grandfather. Each time I write an entry on this blog, I think of Katie. Every time someone asks me why I blog and why I am so passionate about these issues, I think of my own sweet daughter and also of Katie. So many of us have been eternally affected by this adorable little girl, taken from this world far too early.



From Katie's Grandfather, Mike McCarron on AutismVox:

I would like to say something about Katie. Some newspapers have reported that this was done to end Katie’s pain; let me assure you that “Katie was not in pain”. She was a beautiful, precious and happy little girl. Each day she was showered with love and returned that love with hugs, kisses and laughter. Katie loved music; she would fill in some of the words in children’s songs as my wife would sing along with the CD that would be playing, their own version of “karaoke” . She liked to dance, she loved to do the “hooky poky”. She loved being in among flowers and tall grass. She would say “I like grass”. She enjoyed the zoo and because of all of the drills and flashcards she could identify the animals. Which I thought was pretty amazing for such a young child. She was also the only little child in her non-autistic play group that could identify an octagon. My wife and son had a party for her the day they heard that from the teacher.

She enjoyed having her grandmother dress her in new little outfits and dresses, and I think this is important. We have four grand-daughters, my wife loves to buy them frilly little dresses. When my wife went into a store she would never ask for three normal dresses and one autistic dress. I think we need to be very sensitive to the special needs of these children but at the same time not be oblivious to the numerous typical traits that are also developing. Katie was first and foremost a little girl, she enjoyed people making a big fuss over how pretty she looked. My wife would take her to the beauty shop to have her hair trimmed. Katie enjoyed going to the mall and looking in all of the stores and windows. These are female things.

She went to special schools everyday, the staff at those schools cherished her. I can not say enough for the staff at Mariposa. They were so very much more than professional therapists, they adopted her and loved her deeply. Katie was so lucky to be with them everyday.

There is also another young lady in North Carolina who worked with Katie during non-school hours. The bond that she had with Katie was unbelievably deep. I am amazed that a single Mom working to raise a son by herself could find so much extra love. Maybe love is one of those special resources, the more you give the more is given back.

Katie loved the park, the swings, the slides and being outside. She played with her dolls and toys; she loved “teletubbies” and brought joy to all of those that had actual contact with her. Yes, she was autistic. Developmentally she was behind other children. But her small victories would create unbelievable joy for those who loved her. I can not describe the ecstasy of having her little arms around my neck or of watching her and my son roll around on the floor playing in shear happiness.

Each day I ask the Lord if I could take her place, and perhaps He could return Katie to the loving arms of my son and my wife. So far that prayer has not been granted. But in the meantime I can assure you that no one will describe her murder as “understandable” or devalue her in anyway without my personal challenge to them and the organizations they represent.

I must apologize for the length of this post, please know that I keep each of you in my prayers.

Katie's father, Paul McCarron made this public statement earlier this year:

"If the measure of a person's life could be quantified by the number of people that loved them, then Katie, in her brief 3½ years, achieved well beyond all of us," Paul McCarron said...

"I ask all parents, and especially those of children with disabilities, to always love your children and be proud of them," Paul McCarron wrote in his statement. "Cherish every moment you have with them. Love, patience and tender efforts are the best therapies."

Kev has also written ever so eloquently here, "Dear Katie."

We remember, with a smile and prayer, beautiful Katie.

A Savage Side Note

I must add--as you may have read previously in my blog--I agree somewhat with Mr. Savage to the point of over-diagnosis. I've even contemplated if Jenny McCarthy's son possibly has other diagnoses, and not autism. I wonder if a lot of the so-called "recovered" children were never really autistic to begin with. I have seen allergies wrongly labeled as ADHD and behavioral problems. This does happen. There are also parents, a very small amount, who essentially "shop" around for an autism diagnosis. I would feel comfortable saying there probably are children out there labeled as autistic, who in fact are not. But, surely, no one would even ponder that 99% or anywhere near that number, of those said to have autism really don't (and furthermore, that they are brats).

I will also say that I feel we have become a society who wants only instant gratification, and that includes forcing pills down your child's throat so they behave more appropriately. To put a child on medications (especially say a 2 or 3 year old) first, without attempting therapy and other help, should be strongly discouraged. And, to medicate a child just so they are more docile, to prevent stimming (which is not self-injury), and so forth (and not because the child has severe issues, is harming themselves, severe mood swings, etc.) really should not be an option. All too often, autistic individuals are drugged to near-coma states, locked up, and forgotten about. This should not be tolerated.

I also feel for Mr. Savage, apparently his brother died in a NY mental hospital. That has to be awful, to go through that first-hand. I don't know much of his experience, other than a brief statement I found. But agreeing with Mr. Savage on his views regarding medications for children and sympathizing with him over his brother, does not excuse the ignorant and inappropriate statements he made.

Savage Ignorance

Unless you've been hiding under a rock (or on the road traveling like me), you have heard of the ridiculous comments made by radio talk show host Michael Savage about autism.

From several sides, his comments are offensive--and very flawed. Let's start with this claim that in "99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is..."

Really? That has got to be one of the most ignorant statements I've heard with regard to autism (and trust me, I've heard plenty). So, Mr. Savage, you mean to tell me that only 1% of the children who are diagnosed with autism--who attend special programs, therapy, etc. for their autism--only 1% are actually autistic? Based on those odds, it's very likely that in his mind, my daughter or anyone of her classmates must not have autism, or the kids who attend the same therapy center, most if not all, are not autistic. Right, that makes perfect sense Mr. Savage.

Then there's the fact that he views autism as a "fraud, a racket." I'd love to hear how exactly he concluded this. Is my daughter acting, putting on a show? Are we as a family gaining something from some sort of sham, from "faking" autism? Exactly what kind of "racket" do we have going on? I'd love some explanation--but again, these are some of the most ignorant and nonsensical statements about autism I've ever heard.

He spirals even further downward, placing blame on the fathers (which is an interesting twist, typically it's us moms who get the blame from misguided people). Apparently, Mr. Savage also is unaware of girls like mine, who are also autistic. His rant centers around the idea that boys are not being yelled out by their fathers, and that's why they are being diagnosed with autism. Fathers, according to Savage, should tell their sons:

"Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot."

This was especially disturbing to me. Not too long ago, autistic children were called many horrible names by the medical community. Today, sadly, there are too many in society who still refer to our children with vicious insults. The words "putz" and "moron" (and "dummy" which Mr. Savage also said later on) were bad enough, but "idiot" really enraged me. Years ago, my child would be labeled an "idiot savant." She has an extremely high IQ, uneven skill sets (splinter skills), yet her social, adaptive, and communicative skills are rated in the very low to low range.

I never thought much about the word "idiot," it easily rolls of the tongue of most people. But in the last few years, it's had new meaning to me. Our neurologist first said "idiot savant" following our child's first IQ test, explaining how a person could have a genius IQ along with developmental delays, etc. We were utterly perplexed by this concept. Our neurologist said "the outdated term you may be familiar with is 'idiot savant'." I know how society used to treat "idiots" and "idiot savants." I also know how history has a way of repeating itself. This is not a word I would ever use in reference to autism or autistic individuals. Shame on you, Mr. Savage!

I would invite Mr. Savage to come stay with our family for a week, or even a day. Then perhaps he could enlighten me on how we were benefiting from this autism "racket," and how my child was really just a "brat." Maybe he could show my husband how better to berate my child, so she wouldn't act the way she does. I wonder what Mr. Savage would say to the neurologist, psychologist, developmental specialists, pediatrician, special ed teacher and para, and multiple therapists who see my child, have diagnosed her, and so on. Are they all in on this sham too? I am curious to hear this man's recommendations.

Savage's comments are, at best, a big fat waste of breath. I considered not even writing about them. They are ridiculous, and not really worth my time. However, Mr. Savage has a huge following (upwards of 10 million listeners) and therefore his words can alter millions of people's views on autism. That can be dangerous. The last thing we (autism families, autistic individuals, and society as a whole) needs is more stigmatizing, stereotyping, and mocking.

On Vacation...

Hi all,

Just checking in to let you know I am on vacation. It's a long one this year, just about 3 weeks. We've traveled quite a bit (plenty of stories to write about in the following weeks!), visited with family & old friends, and, as always, hopefully are changing others' ideas of Autism every day. I have lots to write when I get back. For now, it's too hectic for me to find time to blog. Which is a good thing, it means we are having fun. Thanks for stopping by.

If this is your first visit to my blog, hello and welcome. Here are some of my personal favorite posts:

Autism Knocked On The Right Door
Autistic and Proud
High Functioning? Then Shut Up!
More Inspiration (From Joshua Eisenstat's Family)
My Autism Everyday
Where Is All The Autism Awareness?

I've written extensively on Jenny McCarthy as well:
Is Jenny Really An Autism Mom?
Yes...she still is very much into the whole Indigo & Crystal thing, plus it seems she gets her vaccine advice from an entity known as Kryon, and there's more I've compiled here.

For the next week, I most likely will not be blogging. But, check back after 7/24 for new entries.

Thank you,
S.L.

Attention Autistics & Fellow Family Members: ABC Wants To Hear From Us Again

I'm not entirely sure what this presentation will turn out like, what the focus will be, and so on. I thought I'd send this along though, hopefully we can ensure that our voices can be heard (once again).

ABC News Seeks Submissions for iCaught: OnCall+ Autism
Thursday, July 3, 2008
By: Carin Yavorcik

Share your stories via video

ABC News is presenting an opportunity for you to share your personal experiences as part of a special hour on Good Morning America Now: "OnCall+ Autism." You can also send a question about autism that may be answered by a top medical expert in the field.

ABC News is looking for video submissions on the following topics:
1) Your thoughts on living with autism or with loved ones with autism
2) Any questions you might have on autism to be answered by our medical
experts

Most digital cameras now have a video function that allows the user to record 30-second to 1-minute videos. Once recorded, you can upload the video to your computer the same way you'd view digital snapshots. ABC News is specifically requesting 15- to 45-second videos.

How to submit:

1) Via cell phone:
Record a 15- to 45-second clip and email it to: icaught@abcnews.go.com

2) Via the web
Click on the red "RESPOND NOW" button

Videos submitted by the end of July may appear on ABC News NOW!